I have a number of friends, family and acquaintances who have found themselves unexpectedly 'available to the market' (laid off - RIF'ed - re-sized right out on their tuckus). After the initial shock, most have resolutely set their jaws with a fierce determination to get back up on their feet.
It doesn't seem to last very long.
Many call me for help. I am so happy that they feel like they can do so. (I'd be disappointed if they didn't.)
However, I have watched most of these superbly talented people hit two potholes. These failure points seem to be terribly debilitating, and sometimes more devastating than the initial shock of getting laid off. Worse, they drive a self-pity paralysis and a self-defeating doubt-fest which is a lousy attitude to carry when looking for a job.
Pothole #1. They are afraid to ask for the help they really need
Now, it’s easier to call people you know. You have the calm, non-chalant, "I am so in control of myself" conversation. You let them know you’re looking. They say, “hey, send me your resume, and I’ll pass it along”, or “I’ll keep my eyes open...” You happily comply, thinking you just got something done.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
That’s not the help you need. How do I know? I’m the guy you’ve sent your resume to. Sure, I’ve passed it along. I’ve got friends in high places that have the jobs you want, but I am batting zeros with this approach. I've learned better, and I'm doing better. I'll share that in a future post.
Pothole #2. They think they are a nobody…all over again
The years they spent gaining relevance and prestige and goodwill with their current employer, their supervisors, and fellow co-workers is certainly portable, but marginally relevant to the new employer. You have to rebuild and reestablish the trust ALL OVER AGAIN. (However, this is completely avoidable, but that is another post). Somehow over the years, they mistakenly identified themselves with their job. No job...no status...no self-esteem.
There are ways to avoid these points of failure, but they demand more than a freakish will…it requires some common sense, a low need for approval, and a structured effort to help a lot of people.
Let me recommend a book by Keith Ferrazzi called, "Never Eat Alone". Poor title. Great book. Copy and paste this link for information on it. http://bit.ly/HPBIl
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Maybe the mega issue that is debilitating for people who are "available to the market" is that it so easy to slip into a consciousness of being "less than": less than powerful, less than competent, less than successful, and, overall, less than the person who has accomplished all the wonderful things the person has accomplished over their worklife. He or she slips into that weakened state because his mind has bought into all the negative possible ways to assess someone who is in that position. My advice is: DON'T DOT THAT! Remember who you are. Center yourself there, not in the middle of your temporary circumstances. Be who you've been when you were doing your best work. It will carry the day!
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